loss of a family pet.

it's been a rough year on our family and extended family. we lost 4 animals in less than a year. our cat, my parent's dog, Jordana's dad's dog and her mom's dog. the pups were older and had lived wonderful lives, although my parent's loss was sudden.

our Gray, on the other hand, was only 7 and it came out of nowhere. one afternoon, I noticed a lump as I was rubbing her belly. we brought her right into the vet who feared that it was cancer and we scheduled surgery. once it was removed, we anticipated she'd be fine and live another 10+ years. unfortunately, the biopsy came back that it was insanely aggressive and in her lymph nodes and they gave her 8 months. they were wrong ... it was about 2 weeks.

I've never experienced the loss of MY pet. we had a dog growing up but she passed when I was in college, so it was a different experience. this time, it was my responsibility to make the call. I had to witness her rapid decline and decide whether or not to let her go. it was the hardest decision I have ever made but with the guidance of our incredible vet, who told me that she was suffering and would only get worse, we knew it was time to say goodbye.

I miss her terribly. she was my very first baby. I got to love her for 6 years. she was with me through some dark times. she loved me for me. she saved me.

I often feel guilty because there are days when I don't notice her absence since she was such an independent kitty. but then I look up on our wall and see her portrait (I had a custom watercolor painting done with her picture below and we also blew up the photo above and it's in our entry way) and I'll thank her for being there for me.

It makes me sad that Parker wont' grow up with her but I know that he remembers and loves her. He meows and points every time he sees her picture. I know that she is his guardian angel. One day we'll get another kitty but Gray will never be replaced. for now, we're focusing on Parker, Ruby and preparing for another baby.

hug your fur babies a littler closer <3